Diary of a Bamboo Diva

Finally.

After moving apartments & preparing for and executing a heavy duty hula performance out on the West Coast, I finally have a chance to get my focus back on singing.

And what better time for my voice teacher to send out these handy email reminders to everyone in my studio. It’s so true about classics never going out of style or outlive their usefulness. These are really basic technical reminders - but man do they ever work!

The best techniques usually tend to be the most simple…

Emails from my teacher

I am in the process of putting together many vocal "must have, must know, must use," articles that every singer should have in a folder. This is information you will love to receive, for it "cements" everything I have been teaching everyone.  I am proud to say, some of my students have helped put these together with me.

My first article is called:

                            

                                                           POSTURE

                                        by Eric Miranda and Gisela Goettling

• Practice DAILY until it becomes second nature!

• Shoulders back and down

• Chest medium high (NO TENSION)

• Neck in alignment with spine

• Bottom tucked under

• Step position: One slightly in front of the other

• Weight of body between legs:

            Flexible knees   

            More on balls of feet than heels

• Chin parallel with floor

• Avoid "hanging weight" in abdomen

• From waist up "reach mentally forward and up"

* * * * * * * * * * *

BEFORE A CONTEST

-VERY IMPORTANT-

Before entering a contest, pretend being a Judge:

Listen to the same Aria or song sung by five or six more singers in the same category.

1) Listen to them only once.

2) Judge what you like.

       Write it down.

3) Judge what needs improvement.

       Write it down.

* * * * * * * * * * *

VOCAL WARM-UPS

            (Considerations for the choral conductor and music teachers.)

                        by Martha Swisher & Gisela Goettling

I. Provide an energetic inspirational model. Set the "tone" for the rehearsal and a unity of soul, mind and body expressed through voice.

II. Develop muscles of support:

• Breathing; activate muscles through positive energy.

• Involvement of energized breath which constitutes support and control.

• Experience "Happy Surprise!" 

• "For me?"

III. Awareness of resonators through "agreeable hum" "For me?" Lifted     palatal structure.

IV. Experience the naturalness of "total involvement" (Body, mind & soul.)

• Forward, out of the way tongue.

• A dropped jaw.

• Filled lungs with expanded back and dropped diaphragm.

V. Experience the unity of support and control

VI. Project tones to the audience

VII. Establishment of purity of vowels

VIII. Ear training

IX. Music literacy.

         Solfege

         

Independence

of part 

X. Intonation awareness.

        Hear your neighbors

XI. Range flexibility through scalar passages.

XII. Articulation.

        Parlando to activate the speaking instrument (tongue, mouth jaw, palate, etc.)

XIII. Posture.

XIV. Leave rehearsal and/or lesson feeling

•             Elated

•             Uplifted

•             Energized

•             Musically and artistically growing

* * * * * * * * * * * *

ESTABLISH THE "MOMENT TO START"

by Colleen Lovinello & Gisela Goettling

-THINK  "HAPPY SURPRISE"  ("For me?")-

This causes the following things to occur in your body:

• Release of bottom jaw.

• Lift of upper cheekbones.

• Space between both rows of teeth.

• Brings awareness of smiling mask.

• Widening of back due to intake of breath.

• Readiness of soft palate to provide more or less space, according to pitch.

As a result:

• The intake of breath lowers the diaphragm, and providing we stay in the back as wide as possible, the energized breath will provide the support.

PRACTICED DAILY, THIS WILL BECOME SECOND NATURE AND HABIT FORMING!!!

Well.

I had to cancel my audition with the Grant Park Chorus due to my recent illness - boo! I was having pitch problems throughout my lesson yesterday & I never have issues like that when I’m well. So better to cancel rather than show up and only be able to produce a mediocre effort. There’s always next year.

As for this year, however, it does free up my time to focus on other things. Like this upcoming hula presentation in L.A. -

…and I would like to get back to my solo repetoire. I’ve been doing a lot of rehearsing/performing for other group projects & haven’t had any time to look at my own music. I do miss working on a body of literature that’s mine alone. Perhaps that’s what I’ve been neglecting in my vocal studies - myself (oddly enough). I have a tendency to loan my voice out to other things & end up putting myself last.

Things I would love to work on if I had the time:

- Adalgisa’s part in her duet w/Norma

- The entire role for Dorabella in Cosi (I <heart> that duet: Il core vi dono)

- As much Hahn as possible

Just not enough hours in the day…

I’ve been busy.

And as a result of over extending myself - now I’m sick… doh!

But, the unending number of tasks I’ve been trying to keep up with are getting me a little closer to where I want to be with my music. Little signs have been popping up here and there to encourage me in my path…

…being offered an opportunity to sing with my ensemble for the McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum opening

…finding that the concert I volunteered to help my conducting friend with was actually the 60th anniversary concert for the Evanston Symphony Orchestra

…finding that the conductor for my church gig was palying tuba in the orchestra for the ESO anniversary concert I was helping out with

…discovering that one of the other section leaders in my church gig played Carlotta in Phantom on Broadway

…the enthusiastic response of the Hawaiian community here in the midwest to my Hawaiian ensemble’s presentation at the Marriott a couple of weeks ago

…getting on the agenda of the Actors’ Equity EEO committe as they discuss the authenticity of presenting Polynesian music & dance in the Lincoln Center’s upcoming production of South Pacific 

…getting my audition set up for the Grant Park Chorus

…having the opportunity to voice my opinions on the arts community to the IAC

So many little things that I had never expected to be more than just individual tasks that I had to take care of - have turned out to be little "markers" that, once connected, have aligned themselves into some cosmic arrow pointing me in the direction I need to travel in. I feel as if I’ve spent so much of my life in search of music and now, so it would seem, it is finally in search of me.

Adoration reciprocated.

It makes me so happy.

Made it to ‘06 - whew!

The end of year holidays is always a crazy time for singers. There are umpteen holiday services, concerts and any number of performances to prepare for and perform in.

I found myself party hopping on Christmas Eve, only able to steal a couple of precious hours per family party before I finally settled in for the night to sing at a midnight mass. Following the mass, I went to bed straight away to grab some shut eye & then had to pop up again bright and early in the morning to sing on Christmas Day.

New Years proved to mirror the same schedule since the 1st of the year serendipitously found itself on a Sunday - more morning masses to sing after late night holiday festivities.

As harrowing as that kind of schedule sounds - I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. I can sleep when I’m dead. There are too many interesting opportunities we pass up in life becuase we’re "tired" or have "more important things to do". Though I do have to concede to the sandman from time to time when fatigue just gets the best of me (oh how I miss the limitless energy of my twenties).

Oddly enough, the bustling holiday schedule was the least of my concerns this year. I wasn’t even really taken aback by the impomptu solo part that popped up for me (which I ended up sight reading) an hour before Christmas day mass. What ended up getting to me was the rendition of "Go Tell it on the Mountain" I was asked to learn & present on Christmas.

The genre reference on the sheet music was "traditional". Now I’ve been around long enough to have seen publications of that piece where the genre was noted as "negro spiritual". I felt a wierd discomfort at the thought that a majorily white congregation was presenting a black piece WITHOUT any cultural guide.

I’m all for sharing & exchanging art forms between different cultures, but not without the work behind it that "borrowing" a culture demands. The interlopers of the culture should do their homework to get some awareness of the cultural sensitivity of the work they plan to touch.

The worst part - I was being paid to be a part of this conscription. I felt awful & didn’t know how to rectify my part in the situation. That’s the thing… it all happened so fast & I was in no position to jeapordize this gig just to make a point that would ultimately go nowhere. If I made the point to the few people there, the world would not change.

My kung fu teacher once told me never to pick I fight I knew I couldn’t win. When I was younger, I fought everything - becuase I thought I had to. And at the time - I did. Those experiences built my resistence and my tenacity. But now, I have a clearer understanding of when real opportunity arises & which situations in life I can turn to make the biggest impact.

So what to do with this situation? Well - I decided to learn as much as I could about the cultural aspect of the music that I could before the performance (yay wikipedia!) and make sure that when I sang it, I did it with a respect to the culture in mind. If the others didn’t do their homework in that way - it’s not on me. Not my job to teach grown adults respect. Not my job to force my understanding of respect onto other people. But it is my job to sing with respect. Respect to my audience. Respect to myself. Respect to the other singer & musicians I work with. Respect to my conductor. Respect to the composer. Respect to the cultures that endured the hardships they did to bring us this wonderful *music*.

…or should I say young lady?

Oh, I’ve "adopted" another one…

A fellow young singer who I’m working with revealed that she was having a challenging time in her personal life at home during our last rehearsal together.

Some of the more ‘mature’ singers at the rehearsal had various words of advice for her. I listened as they attempted to impart their advise on how a young lady in her position could protect herself a little from the stresses on the home front.

After mulling it all over in my head for a few days - I responded by emailing her the following:

*I’ve substituted aliases in lieu of the actual names of people in order to protect their privacy.

—————–

hey ‘Y’!

i just wanted to thank you for singing w/us last weekend. we couldn’t have done it without you : )

i also wanted to thank you for sharing the story of your experience at home with us. it was a very brave thing for you to do. i know how difficult it is to share these less-than-perfect parts of our lives with other people. ironic how that mirrors the experience of singing. as singers, we work so hard to present the least flawed performance we can give but ultimately when we look back to what we gave, we tend to focus in on our mistakes. i think it’s good to have a critical awareness of what it is we have to improve so we know what we need to work toward, but i think it can become self defeating to dwell on our mistakes too much. the study of singing, i’ve found, lies in finding a balance between our self criticism & our self love.

as there needs to be this balance in the psyche of the (healthy) singer, i’ve also found that we need to maintain that kind of balance in our relationships with other people, because ultimately the people in our lives effect how we feel about ourselves & how we feel about ourselves effects how we sing. i wanted to share this with you because it sounds like you have a challenging relationship in your life that you are trying to deal with. and although you are young, you also seem very mature & strong to me (you’d have to be to get through a lesson with ‘Z’… he he he) so if i can share a few observations with you on some of the comments/reactions you heard from the other ladies in our group…

first - i could definitely tell that everyone’s advice for you stemmed out of their love for you & their desire to protect you. you’ve got 8 extra mom’s now (oy vey!) in us lady : )  i think that’s a great blessing to have so many women (and not just any women, mind you, but women of quality) CHOOSE to love you.

second - because you are surrounded by so many strong women, you inevitably heard a lot of strong and different opinions. even as an adult of (eek) thirty - i was having a difficult time sorting through all the intense emotions & ideas that were shared. but after i thought about it i figured out a few things (which will hopefully help you get some clarity on what was said). though both ‘Z’ & ‘T’ had very different opinions it was clear to me that they were both speaking from a very personal place. the experiences they had, taught them vastly different things about humanity. and though they had completely opposite views on the subject - they were both speaking from the truth of their experiences. you just had to keep in mind that they had very different experiences.

oddly enough, they were both "living" (being the living example of) an idea that ‘H’ was trying to convey. that idea being that "hardship brings the opportunity to strengthen ones self". and though that idea can be true on occasion, both ‘Z’ & ‘T’ are living examples that there is a greater dimension to the truth of what challenges and hardship can do to a life.

in both of them i can see that there clearly are pains they’ve experienced that have not healed. ‘Z’ is obviously still effected by the trauma of a war that ended a little over half a century ago & ‘T’ is still very much effected by the events of her childhood that have had decades to pass. though these realizations about the darker side of humanity make them sensitized to things the rest of us are not sensitized too, that kind of perception gives these women a special kind of strength. it is not the kind of strength that merely withstands trauma - it’s the kind that allows them to live with the emotional scars that these events have permanently marked them with for the rest of their lives.

i admire their endurance greatly because it has never dampened their hope. neither of them gave up on the idea that there is something good about humanity to pursue. so they both keep making music, because what finer & more optimistic tribute can there be to what humanity can aspire to other than music & the arts?

perhaps you would not be surprised to find out that every one of us in our group has had at least one experience in their past that brought us to question our faith in other people or our faith in god. you are maybe just learning about this a little earlier in life than most people do. but as you can see from the wonderful women in our group - these kinds of difficulties are something we all endure AND SURVIVE. in the end, we all end up with our more sensitive "spots" and personality quirks, but that’s perfectly fine. as with voices - no individual one is perfect & every one is colored by its experience. just because there are differences doesn’t mean that each one can’t be beautiful & strong in its own right. and when we find a way to "blend", despite the differences, we can make quite a beautiful and joyful sound.

i hope some of my observations help you in sorting out your own thoughts. i can’t imagine that your situation at home is "easy" by any stretch of the imagination nor that it’s even something you want. but ‘Z’ made a good point. the situation you are (unfairly) being placed in, reflects a belief in the competence & maturity you exhibit that all of us see. it also mirrors something plato once wrote - that the greatest leaders never go out looking for situations to lead. those of us who have that innate sensibility of leadership & responsibility usually have those kinds of situations thrust on us. we don’t look for it but it sure does find us somehow. and your situation at home definitely found you - but i know that in this situation you will find your own unique sense of strength (as we all have).

on those occasions you’re maybe not feeling completely up to handling everything on your own, please remember that we’re all just a phone call or an email away.

much love to you "little sister".
-czerina

I recently discovered that my new recurring gig (singing at a church in Evanston) has me playing the 6 degrees of separation game with small & large screen actor, actor Ed Harris. Apparently his father is an active member of the church where I sing. Wouldn’t it be wierd to see him at the Christmas service?

Though right now I’m more concerned with getting through tomorrow. In the morning, we’re presenting the Schubert Mass in G for the morning service. And then after that’s over, I need to burn rubber and get my booty over to Long Grove for a pick up gig singing Christmas Caroles for two hours. It’s gonna be a long day…

But I feel fortunate to have the opportunities I do. Not only to be paid for making music, but also to be in such fine company. All the other soloists & section leaders at the church are members of the Chicago Symphony Chorus. And my predecessor was on staff at the Lyric Opera. In my own studio-grown ensemble, I find myself under the direction of some of the finest artists in the field in my own discipline. A sought after choral clinician, a staff accompanist at Ravinia, and a musical educator so renowned in her field that she’s received awards from Universities both in Europe and the US.

If I stop to think about it for too long - it’s a bit intimidating. But I make an earnest effort to continue to represent these people and institutions as well as I can. At one point they all put their faith in me and gave me a chance. And if these experts in their field felt I could live up to their expectations, then I put my trust in their judgement that I can do it well and refrain from giving too much thought to my own self doubt. Instead I put my mind to thoughts of music, music music!

Last night I went to see my friend Cynthia play at Uncommon Ground. As usual - she was great. As unusual - this new start up Asian American TV network, ImaginAsian, was filming her performance. She was totally on so I know whatever footage they decide to broadcast will be great : )

My boyfriend took note of the extra lights & cameras in the joint & commented to me that he wondered if ImaginAsian might not be hitting the production of "After the Quake" he was working on at Steppenwolf since they were in town. He paused for a moment of reflection as we were leaving the cafe & thought about whether or not to talk to the ImaginAsian production crew that was lingering by the door about the work over at Steppenwolf he was participating in that featured an entirely Asian American cast. After all - it would fit in so perfectly with the format of their station and is such an unusual benchmark in the history of Asian American theater (because when has an entirely Asian cast EVER been the focus of an American theater company’s production) that it definitely merits media & community attention.

He ultimately decided against it. When I asked him why he said though he understood the significance of what that action could be - ultimately it was not his job. They’d hired someone else to be the bridge between the theater & mainstream Asian American community & that was that guy’s job. His was to learn the roles that had been assigned to him & make sure he did it well, because who knew when his next opportunity to do this would come up again. Not like the stage is gearing up to produce more Asian casted works. He needed to represent well, not just for the sake of his own career but also because he knew that the odds of these American directors & producers ever working with more Asian actors in the future would be very slim. (The theater company in question has ZERO Asians as ensemble members & only 1 black guy.)

It made me think back to my harried past of trying to find my niche in my own discipline. I used to run around trying to crusade for everything becuase the imbalance & inequity I saw in my own world (hey, when was the last time you saw an Asian opera diva?) was so prominently mirrored in other creative fields. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that the most effective impact I could have as an Asian American Artist is just to be a really damn good one. Period. I didn’t have to split my time & energy between my activism and my art because my art IS activism.

By simply being where I’m not "supposed" to be & being exceptionally proficient at what it is I do - I become the living exception.

This doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated when I see someone in the majority being rewarded for their mediocrity. Shit happens. That’s just the landscape of the world we live in now. We do not live in a meritous society, but that’s not reason enough to act as philistines.

Everyone takes a side in the culture war everytime they act or chose not to act. You can act on behalf of the cause of reason or you can act on behalf of pacifying your own selfish insecurities.

In the end - we all make the choice.

Certain days I have to choose being Asian over being an Artist. And other days I have to choose being an Artist over being Asian.

Everyday I try to make the choices that get me a little closer to just being a decent person.

I got home from the Symphony Center last night around a quarter to midnight. I was helping to hostess a benefit concert that Bernadette Peters was performing in. Though I’m not a huge fan of Broadway, the evening both surprised me & confirmed some of the prejudices I have toward the musical theater genre.

I was amazed at how Ms. Peters managed to even put this concert on given the fact that her husband died in a freak helicopter crash only 4 weeks ago. But then again - that’s a singer for you. The only time we don’t go on is if we’re dead. Even if only a part of us, like our hearts, feels dead we manage to drag the rest of ourselves up there & get the job done.

I’m guessing this tragedy has taken quite a toll on her because there were moments when she & the ensemble were not together at all - though I attribute part of it to the "multi-tasking" conductor who both conducted & accompanied on the piano at the same time which resulted in missed cues with the orchestra.

But the audience was more than forgiving - which totally caught me off guard.

I guess I’ve been in the classical world too long. I’ve forgotten that there are audiences out there that are willing to suspend some of their expectations & criticisms when an artist with a proven legacy is going through a tough time. There is a willingness to participate in the catharsis of the performance. To "cheer on" an artist in an effort to encourage them to tough out their personally hard times so they can keep bringing these grand humanistic expressions to the stage. It was really a beautiful moment to observe. And a rare one I think. Where the one giving is in a position to be receiving - prayers, hopeful thoughts, encouraging "vibes"…

But ultimately, isn’t that one of the functions of art & music? Not just to inspire but also to be the conduit of humanistic practice.

It makes me think that I have so much of my own work to do. There’s already plenty on the table - my new chamber chorale, the hula group, a new standing church gig, my solo repetoire (which looks like it may evolve into a recording project within the year), prospects for a collaborative/mixed genre project…

Well - I suppose that’s why we have a lifetime to pursue our life’s work.

I continue on - one bite at a time - hoping to consume this elephant.

I’ve been practicing Debbie Friedman’s "Mi Sheberach" for the last couple of weeks.

My voice teacher & I have been running through the notes - as different types of vocalise, with different vowels sounds, executing a variety of placement for the tone, etc…

The preperation leading up to it has been, ummm, ‘gymnastic’ in quality.

The High Holiday program the Rabbi had put together was much more involved than I thought it would be. I was under the impression I was just going to show up & sing (as I’ve been accustomed to doing for the services I get hired to sing for).

I’m so glad it turned out to be more than that.

One speaker after another went up to briefly speak about what it meant to them to be Jewish. The language, the food, the jokes, the spiritual connection, the relationships, the knowing, the connection…

Though I didn’t get it the way they did - I got it the way I did. Not much different than being Asian in America. Than being a foreign entity in someone else’s world.

Hearing all those reflections & anecdotes forced something in me to shift.

It was automatic & happened on it’s own. And when I went up to take my 1st breath, both everything and nothing that I’d practiced with my voice teacher came out. My voice at that point was merely a vehicle, a conduit. The will & intention behind it was not mine - it was a reflection of them. A reaction to everything they spoke too just minutes before I sang, not for them but rather on their behalf.

I don’t remember having any feelings then, but apparently there was a lot of emotion. And it was a feeling that everyone could relate too and felt was representative of them. When I sang the last "amen" - everyone sang it with me. We were connected to one another.

At the reception many people in the audience came up to hug me & thank me. Every person I talked too was moved somehow. Some even almost to tears. Someone listening was even friends with the composer & told me she would’ve been proud to have heard me sing it.

It was great to hear all those compliments. But the greater part was the gift of that moment - when the art had overtaken the artist. When I was completely disengaged from my ego & I just - was. And simply by being, I was ‘useful’. A tool for them - to help them commune with G-d - to deliver their prayer through song.

This is why I love music so much. For everything we are incapable of communicating - it communicates for us. For everything that keeps us segregated - it is the bridge to the common points of our humanity. It says what we cannot. It shows us what we could be if we were all better versions of ourselves.

I hope one day I am better.